Forget regret, or life is yours to miss

So

2007-03-20T02:17:31Z

I have a problem...with work

So we have this one manager, who's pretty much an asshole. But he's getting transferred soon, so I think, okay, Kevin will be gone. Justin and John will still be managers so everything'll be okay. I'll just stick it out until Kevin's gone cause then it'll get better. So I come back from spring break, go pick up my check, and John ends up telling me and Larry that he's getting transferred to New Mexico. WHY?!?!? And our new manager is some guy, blah blah. So I'm sad, right? Okay. So then! Tiff goes to get her check today, and John tells her that Justin is going with John and will be gone at the end of the month. That BJ (new general manager) is a complete prick, and OF COURSE, gets along WONDERFULLY with Kevin. As a result of this, five servers have quit, all our hostesses quit, and I'm left going, now what?

If it's terrible, I will want to quit. Because there's no way that I can handle two Kevins. Especially one that's the general manager, who is completely in charge. So if I have a problem, who do I go to? No one, that's who. But, it's not like i can quit, because I do need the job and there would be no point in going to get a new job since I'll just be gone in about a month anyway.

But to make you all understand my frustration...Kevin is a jerk. Completely. He hates woman. And shows it, everyday. Treats all the girls like crap. Puts us through all sorts of things that shouldn't happen. When he's working, I want to die. I hate him. I do. I've gone home crying some nights just because of the things he's done to me.

So now...what do I do?

jellybean1757 @ 2007-02-04T16:48:00

2007-02-04T22:52:26Z

So here's the deal. I started working at Texas Roadhouse on Monday. And really...they gave me all these hours with crap-tastic pay. Like really. I worked every night this week except for Thursday and probably made about $79. Crappy, right? Right. So I get home last night and Tiff tells me that all these people quit at Cotton Patch and they really need servers. Which really, is what I'd wanted to do all along. So I go there today, and I'm talking to the manager and he tells me that last night, the slowest server made about $50. And then all the rest made about $100. In one night. And then...he offered me a job!

jellybean1757 @ 2007-01-24T16:49:00

2007-01-24T22:49:25Z

I got a job!!!! Excitement!!!!

jellybean1757 @ 2007-01-21T23:41:00

2007-01-22T05:41:45Z

People are phony...fakes...and posers. Enough said.

2007

2006-12-30T15:40:46Z

Well...it's been a long time since I've posted anything. But I thought I'd just, you know, recap the year...

in 2006...

I put up with a whole bunch of crap from the Eastwood choir kids. And the choir teacher...
I made state. Probably the biggest accomplishment of my high school career.
Performed at TASC. Which will probably be the biggest crowd I'll ever perform in front of ever again.
Met Jake...dated...made mistakes...got my heartbroken. Enough said.
Graduated.
Sang the national anthem at graduation. Which again, was another fight with that stupid choir director. Thank God for Mr Andrade, because if it hadn't been for him knowing tradition, I wouldn't have been able to do that.
Baptist All State, where I met Tibutt.
Packing for my move to Abilene...which took weeks and weeks.
Actually moving to Abilene...and the amount of stuff in the car...
Having a roommate for the first time in my life and dealing with that.
NSO
Meeting the guy I'm gonna marry by complete accident...Larry, if you guys didn't catch that.
Getting lost in Abilene at 2 in the morning with Tiffani
Starting music classes...
A few scares that I dealt with as an adult...
Deciding that music just wasn't for me. And changing my major to Elementary Education. All the while thinking I want to go into Psychology

And lots and lots of stuff that i can't even begin to explain...it was a good year, I guess. 2007 could be better, though.

It's been a while...

2006-10-26T04:18:49Z

So, indeed, it's been quite a few days since I've last written in this. But like I've said before, this is pretty much just for my enjoyment now that no one uses LJ anymore. Which doesn't bother me one bit, to tell you the truth.

So last weekend, Larry and I drove to Denton and spent the Friday and Saturday with Stephany and Kendra. Muy fun, let me tell you. Larry and I went to go see the Dallas Symphony on Friday, which was amazing. And then we went and saw Dirty Rotten Scoundrels on Saturday. Which was fantastic. The only thing I was disappointed in was the fact that Norbert Leo Butz was supposed to be in it, but instead we got his understudy. Poo. But it's okay. This guy was just as great.

This weekend is homecoming. Do you know what that means? It means that my family is coming to see me! YAY!!! I haven't seen them in months. It's so wierd...I think I'm one of the only ones here that hasn't been home. Everyone goes home like every weekend and they all find it strange when I tell them that I'm not going home until Thanksgiving.

NATS is next weekend. And I'm not at all prepared for that...oh well. I'm not gonna do it next year. And I'm not really planning on moving on the the second level this year, so all I really want to do is have my songs learned so I don't look like a complete idiot. Woot.

I don't have much else to say...so adios?

So please, come home soon...

2006-10-16T20:01:51Z

Ugh. I want to go home. Like for real. Forever.

I'm really tired. I'm tired of singing. And I'm tired of music. I'm tired of feeling like I'm not going anywhere in my voice lessons. And because I feel like that, I have no desire to practice. I don't want to get better. I want to just stay where I am. I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing all the time...you know, eight weeks is a long time to go without a break. It's ridiculous.

I hate this girl in choir who stands right next to me. I really might kill her. And unfortunately for me, she's a freshman as well, so we're all gonna have to put up with her until we graduate. But Tiff doesn't think she'll make it until then...I'm hoping she's right. But really. Okay, this girl sings louder than anyone I've ever met. And it's not like, Diamond loud. Because Diamond was good. Diamond knew what she was doing. This girl is bad. Like she could overpower the entire choir plus the orchestra...and she has terrible vowels and she doesn't know how to count, and she always asks the most absolutely ridiculous, can be answered with common sense questions. And not just in music. No. In every class, she finds the need to just speak up and ask the most ridiculous things...all the music faculty hates her. Except maybe Doc. But Doc knows what we're talking about now. But it's hard. Like you can not sing right standing next to her. Especially when you're learning a new piece. Like today. We were learnign a new part and she was just all over the place and loud as hell. So you don't know which part you should be on, because you can't hear yourself and then she is absolutely impossible to tune with. Now, I know I'm not perfect, but this girl...I don't know how I'm gonna make it. Even Dr Chambers doesn't like her...and Dr Chambers likes pretty much anyone.

I'm not really happy anymore. I just want to go home. I'm so so tired...maybe I'll take a nap...

Life

2006-10-05T00:27:42Z

Life is going. I'm about ready to go home. If not go home, then just leave Abilene for a bit. Which I'm going to do for fall break. I'm excited. Like really excited. Larry and I are going to Dallas to go see Dirty Rotten Scoundrels with Kendra and Stephany, so I get to leave for a whole weekend. Yay! And then the next week is homecoming. And then the week after that is NATS, so I get to miss two days of school for that. Sarah is excited. I need a break...so badly.

So people from high school that were jerks to me in high school certainly haven't changed in college. But whatever. I've changed and grown up, they're just retarted and now they're paying for it. Hah! Except, I feel really bad for Tiffani...my room at NATS is going to be great. But it would be better if Tiffani were with us.

Hmm...I got a 103 on my math test, out of a possible 88 points. I'm quite proud of myself. It makes up for the 82 I got on my government test. Gah. I'm tired of school. And I'm tired of dorm life. I need to move off campus. Larry and Tiffani and I are gonna get an apartment, or a house. And it'll be great. We're excited...except that we have to have 60 hours before moving off campus. Joy...

I'm about to give up on voice. I'm having such problems with my voice, and it's just becoming a chore. Which is kinda sad. But like, I love Dr Chambers, she's amazing, I just have problems. Like, I can't get over my break, no matter how hard we try. Which means there's no way in heck that I'm gonna get to the semifinals at NATS. Which I don't mind at all, unlike some people, because I think only one person from HSU last year made it that far. I really don't care that much...

Um, I don't have much else to say...I'm kinda slightly depressed. I think I'll go do diction now...

Alrighty...so...

2006-09-19T19:24:02Z

So, it's been a while since I've posted here...but I kinda figure, why should I, if no one reads it? Oh well, right? I'm posting now.

Um, school is pretty hard, but its lots of fun. The lack of sleep I've been getting is finally beginning to catch up with me. I find myself taking many naps throughout the day and falling asleep during theory. Which, I mean, whatever, because theory is pretty dang boring, but still. I'm actually not doing that terrible in theory, except for in Harmony...I just don't get it. Not even a little. And my professor is Korean, so you can't really understand what she's saying, and then it's 8 in the morning, and then I hate theory, and then I sit with Meagan and Neal, so it's quite difficult to pay attention. Like this morning, Neal and I got in trouble for talking and were told that we'd be separated if we didn't stop...little did she know, we were actually talking about theory, for once. Go figure. Um...ear training...my teacher is crazy! Seriously...Let's see, what other classes...government, my teacher is way cute. I love her, I'm actually interested in government. Well, I mean, I have been interested in government for a long time, but she knows her stuff and it makes it much easier to like. My math class is pretty ridiculous. My teacher is a bit crazy...and I hate math. But it's not real math, it's like, explaining the process of math through sentences and crap. I hate it lots. I hate it so much that I just didn't go on Thursday. Choir is great, of course. And then my favorite class would have to be diction. There's only six of us in there, and Dr Chambers teaches it and it's just so much fun. I love it. I wish I had that at 8 in the morning, though...

Larry is great. You all should meet him, you'd love him lots. He keeps me sane. He really does. And I think that if it weren't for him, I would be ridiculously lonely and homesick. I love him.

I'm in the process of doing laundry. And I hate it. Laundry sucks. Lots. Its so time consuming. It's hard to actually find time during my day to do it. Because like, there are only so many washers and dryers, you have to be down there exactly when your laundry is done because people are waiting to use them. It's quite annoying. So if I can find time during the day when people have class, like now, its much easier to do it. But still annoying. Maybe when Larry gets his car, he can take me to his house to do laundry for free...

Umm...I'm working on the Freshman 15. I'm getting a roll...and I don't like it. So Sarah has to stop eating so much and start working out...

Jeremy made us real food the other night. Real Mexican food, I might add. It felt like I was back at home. And now there are lots of leftovers, so we've been eating enchiladas, beans, and queso for three days...

Oh! The churches here have free dinners Sunday nights for all college students. Its great. The church that we go to makes like homemade food. It's fantastic. Apparently, all the churches compete to have the most kids, and to get the most people, the food has to be good, and so the food is amazing. I love it. Abilene is awesome.

Um, so I don't have much else to say...so miss you all! See you in two more months!

Life!

2006-09-07T01:34:20Z

Life is fantastic. I'm so happy. I have a boyfriend, who is absolutely amazing. He's incredible. Really, he is. He treats me better than any guy I've ever dated. And its wonderful. I'm so happy.

Um, let's see. School is decent. I had a piano lesson today that went really well. So, that's good. I've been pretty nervous about that. Tomorrow is Thursday, which means the weekend is almost here. Yay!

A bunch of the people in concert choir are planning on going to Oplin Friday night. Its like this country western dance place. I don't know if we're going, but it would be lots of fun.

Did I mention I love concert choir? And all the people in it? They're amazing. I'm so excited.

I love school! Except for having to get up early...but whatever. I love life!

jellybean1757 @ 2006-09-03T13:13:00

2006-09-03T18:15:00Z

So this is what you see when you walk into Behrens room 221!

This is where I sleep, que pretty!

This is my desk...and of course, my computer is on my myspace...

This is where I put all my crap.

Pictures! Are you on there?

This is my closet...exciting, isn't it?

More of my stuff. Woot.

And my favorite drawer of all. Food!

Outside the Cowboy Band Hall, they have a special parking spot just for the "band van"

And there's the band van in its parking spot...!

This is my home (aka, the music building)

This is my actual home. Behrens, my dorm hall.

The dorm directors are very protective of their parking places.

This is Tiffani being excited about the short star

Me, Tiffani, and Neal at Java City. Woot!

Tiffani and I decorated Jeremy's apartment door as a kinda "welcome back" thing...it looks crappy, we know.

Meagan and me at our choir retreat

Tiffani and me at the fisrt HSU football game!

Larry and me at the game. Yay!

Tiffani, Ashley, and Rebecca at the game.

Life...

2006-08-29T01:29:40Z

So orientation is over. It was fun, but it was time for class to start. And class did in fact start today. It was interesting...woke up at 7 for an 8 AM Ear Training class...fun stuff. I don't really know if I like this theory teacher...she's interesting. Oh well. And then I had American Government, and that might be interesting. The professor seems to be a lot of fun...lots of reading though. I should really be doing that right now.

So then I walked back to the music building and guess what?! I made concert choir! Woo hoo! I'm so excited! And then I didn't do much until choir, and then I went and it was great. It was the first day and we already started reading through music. And I love being in a choir where people actually know how to read music. Like, it was fantastic knowing that I could miss a note and the section would keep on going. I like higher level thinkers...and then after choir, I practiced with Jeremy and then we went to Taco Bell and ate and then I had my voice placement auditions. Which was pretty hilarious. Dr Middleton like freaked when I gave her the song cause she said she already screwed it up earlier, and then so Dr Ashford played it and like totally messed it up while I was singing. It was great. And like, the best part was was that I didn't care at all. And neither did they. All four of the voice teachers are awesome, but I really really want Dr Chambers. Like, really.

So then, I spent the rest of my day just sitting around...we're supposed to go to Jeremy's apartment and make brownies, but I don't know if that's happening. And then I'm supposed to go out with this guy once he gets out of the theatre auditions...so that's exciting.

Hmm...not much left to say. So I'm off!

So, I'm here...

2006-08-25T20:34:53Z

Alrighty, well, I've been here at HSU for what? Three days? Four? I don't really remember...Today's my fourth day. Yay.

So I've been here at New Student Orientation (NSO) and I've had ridiculous amounts of fun. Wednesday, they set up games all over campus and we had our small groups and we would compete against other groups. Yeah, it was fun. But I'm so sore, because we'd have to run from station to station and I wasn't wearing shoes suitable for running, and I mean, let's face it, I'm not made for running. But it was fantastic. We had so much fun, I can't even express to you guys how much I love it here and how amazing my small group is.

But speaking of my small group, they put us with two upperclassmen, and we call them our NSO Mom and Dad. So my Dad looks and acts exactly like Andy Dick. Its pretty hilarious. And my mom, okay, so her name is Sarah. Last year, she lived in my dorm hall, in my room, on my side of the room. And she's a music education major. And I'm Sarah P. and so is she. And then there are some other similarities that I don't remember, oh wait! She's taking from Dr. Chambers, and I probably will too...anyways, its great. I've met some really cool people. My group is a lot of fun. The people are all super nice and so I'm starting school off with a few people I know and it can only get better, right??

So then yesterday we had a paint fight. It was so much fun. First we had like relays and we'd have to run over to a kiddie pool filled with paint and do other stuff and the first team that finished won, and of course, we won. Duh...but then after that they just let everyone let loose and go nuts and everyone was covered in paint and the bathrooms in our halls have like purple and green and yellow paint all over them still. It was way fun.

Then, last night we went to Mr Gatti's and then Tiffani and I went to Wal Mart like at midnight...and then we drove around for a while and then we got really really ridiculously lost. It was hilarious. And we ended up in the ghetto part of Abilene at like two in the morning. It was really scary. But eventually we found our way back to school, and then we got to sleep in this morning. It was great.

We're going to some theatre tonight to watch The Incredibles. Yay...so I'm off to do other stuff before I have to go to another small group meeting. So adios! I love and miss you all!!!

I'm home...

2006-08-21T19:13:07Z

Well, I'm in Abilene at least. So I'm at my home away from home, I guess. I really wish I were back in El Paso. I miss it.

It feels very strange with my mom and dad talking about what's gonna happen when they leave for El Paso and I'm like, oh yeah...I'm staying here...but I don't wanna.

There are lots of cute boys in Abilene, though...yay.

I start orientation tomorrow. Kinda nervous. I'm not one for playing stupid games and stuff like that. So I'm either gonna have a blast or I'm going to want to kill myself...hmm...I also get to move in tomorrow. And meet my roommate. And then my parents are going back to El Paso, and I'm here for three months. Exactly. I'm coming home November 22. At 9:40 in the morning...

We went to Wal Mart this morning to buy stuff for my dorm. I hope there's actually room to put me and Laura in there, because I bought so much crap. Oh my...and then I have to fit all this stuff in my car when I come home for the summer. Oh my...oh well. It'll work, I guess.

My goals for this semester...
1) Get into concert choir.
2) Make New Song
3) Get all A's so I can bring my car back next semester.

And I think that's it...

oh, and
4) Avoid the freshman 15...

This is it...

2006-08-19T06:07:09Z

Tomorrow is my last day in El Paso until Thanksgiving. I don't know how I'm gonna do it, I'm so scared...the thought of not being at home makes me kinda sick to my stomach.

It makes me sad to think of the people I'm leaving behind and the relationships I've had, and the ones I've lost and the heartbreaks I've felt, and the best friends I can never forget, and the memories that will stay with me until my heart stops...

I want to go to Abilene and find the happiness I've been searching for. I think I'm gonna find it. Or at least, I'm hopeful that I'll find it and there will be people waiting there for me who I need to meet for whatever reason.

I'm scared. but I'm excited. I don't want to leave, but I really do.

But I'm going to bed now...I hope to see most of you tomorrow...

jellybean1757 @ 2006-08-16T18:11:00

2006-08-17T00:12:28Z

What's the deal with all this rain? Its ridiculous...I mean, I love it, but still...

You know...

2006-08-12T23:40:29Z

Corey, now that I told you everything, I'm finding its so much easier to let go...I like it. I love you!

jellybean1757 @ 2006-08-10T22:59:00

2006-08-11T05:44:14Z

So, Corey and I went to Eastwood today. It was fun. I miss it. Kinda.

I also ran into Jake in the hallway...what are the chances?? But I dunno...it was a bit awkward. I haven't seen him for so long, it was weird. I really miss him. Too bad he doesn't miss me. I dunno, it just wasn't the meeting I'd hoped for. Unfortunately, I'd hoped he'd realize that he really does love me and yeah. But that didn't happen. And wishful thinking, I know...but still. It could have happened. Well, not to me, of course, but in the movies...but not to me. Its sad, really.

I hate being single.

But we went to musical theatre and it made me really sad!!! I miss being taught by Mrs Deason!!! It was pretty funny...she kept asking questions and Corey and I sat there and whispered the answers and the class just went round and round and kept thinking too hard about the answers and then ten minutes later, someone would say the right one and Corey and I would high five because we had the answer so long ago. It was fun. And we got to watch a little bit of Sweeney Todd. I love that show. Its so creepy...

Wow, its like an hour later...I totally forgot I was writing this. Anyways.

And then we went to choir. And I was shocked. I mean, 17 sopranos...5 altos...10 guys...what??? I'm so confused. I don't really miss choir too much, actually.

I had fun conversations today. Like with Mrs Molden, when I told her I was going into music education, she was like "Oh, I'm so happy for you, but at the same time, I feel so bad for you." It made me laugh. But then she told me that the starting pay for teachers now is $40,000 a year...not bad, not bad. And then Ms Trumble, asked "do you know how to spot a bad person when they're walking towards you" to which I replied, "I think so" and then she said, "no you don't! Because they look like normal people! Oh, you're so innocent!" I was quite amused.

I saw a bunch of teachers today. And then I got home and realized that we didn't go see Mrs Azar or Mrs O'Leary. So since Corey and I have no lives, we need to go back to Eastwood and see them.

I don't wanna be single anymore. Its no fun. Crap.

Well...

2006-08-08T19:40:30Z

I think my new hair cut makes me more attractive. I'm not complaining in the least, however...it'll be just what I need when I go to college.

I fixed my computer. I didn't break it...although I thought I did. I was just overreacting. Ah, well. You know me. At least I fixed it. Yes! I am smart!!!

I'm still not compltely over Jake yet. Its disappointing. But I was talking to Anthony the other day and he was saying that its not a boyfriend I want, I just want someone to love and someone to love me. And I do. It would be nice if that came in the boyfriend package, but I mean, what can I do about that? Like I was watching Saved last night wiht Allison and it made me sad. I want a Patrick. I dunno, I just want somebody. And I want someone to want me. And I want that guy to be waiting at Hardin Simmons for me...

Speaking of Hardin Simmons, I'm leaving in 11 days. Wow, how crazy is that? I've gotten my sheets and stuff for my room. They're pretty. Its like a pink and green plaid. And then I bought the coolest desk lamp. Its lime green...it'll look interesting. I'm really scared though. I know people going up there, but I dunno. I just already feel so alone and I'm still here in El Paso. I think it just goes back to the being alone thing that I can't handle. I hate being single. I was single for too long and "taken" not long enough. And then it always seems like the guys that want me, I don't want and the guys that I do want, I can't have for ridiculously stupid reason. Gah. I'm so bitter towards love, yet its the only thing I really want right now. Does that make any sense?

I feel like writing today...I'm not too sure why. It could be because I'm here at home, just like I've been all day with no one to talk to because everyone is either at work/school or sleeping...and I'm just here....bored...missing people...being lonely. Gah.

I went to Eastwood yesterday. It was so strange. I'm not used to being there and not being a student. I felt like I was ditching class. And then we walked around and talked to some teachers and it just felt weird. I felt like I should just take a seat along with everyone else. I miss it. College is going to be different...

I'm a little angry that Jake isn't talking to me...its upsetting. What we had was fantastic and he was the one who wanted us to keep on being friends after we broke up. And it just feels like I'm the only one who's trying. I don't really want to call him but I've been messaging him and texting him and I've been getting absolutely no response. Maybe I should just lay off for a while and give us both some space from each other. Maybe it would make it easier to get over him. I hate being a girl...too many emotions.

So I decided that I didn't want to take my cd's with me to school, so I've been here the past few days trying to save them all to my computer. Its so time consuming. I have so many cds. Its ridiculous.

I need to start packing. I don't know where to begin. There isn't much space in the dorms to put stuff, but still...I don't know what to take. What happens if I take something that I don't need and then I forget something that's irreplacable and I have to do until Thanksgiving without it? Oh, my brain just hurts thinking about it. Why????

Corey comes home tomorrow!!! I'm so excited!!! I have to talk to her about so much stuff, its not even funny...

I guess I've said enough for today. Adios.

Oye...

2006-08-06T22:48:24Z

I'm leaving in exactly two weeks. Its crazy. I don't wanna grow up yet.

My life is miserable. I think I might have broken my laptop...I'm disgustingly single...Corey is hundreds of miles away...I think I'm beginning to miss Eastwood...it was said already, but I'm single...I have to pack loads of crap to take with me...

I want to go away, I really do. But I'm super scared. I don't want it to happen, because its just all happening so fast. It feels like I just graduated yesterday and then it feels like I'm going to college tomorrow. These are gonna be the shortest two weeks of my life.

On the upside, I'm going shopping tomorrow while all you young ones are in school. And, AND I get to use my new credit card...I might go crazy. Just watch out for me...

jellybean1757 @ 2006-08-04T23:00:00

2006-08-05T05:00:56Z

Corey needs to come home right now!!! I need someone to cry to!!!!!!!!

Ugh....

2006-07-30T04:38:42Z

I didn't even do anything wrong!!! I think that's what makes this awful!!! No, the awful thing is is that there was absolutely no warning whatsoever! We weren't fighting. We'd never even had a serious argument, and the times we did fight, it was over something stupid and it was gotten over quickly.

But come to find out last night that this was a month in coming was a complete shock. And a long painful stab to the heart too. He just kept making it worse and worse. Sometimes, I think that guy's hearts just heal much more quickly than girls. It like they just don't care. And they can fall out of love with someone just as easily as they fall in love. And they can just move from relationship to relationship without any regard to how they've left the last one. And then they find it hard to believe when its hard to be friends with them after all is said and done.

I feel like I was the only truthful one in this relationship. I feel as if he used me, and I told him this and he got mad at me for thinking that. But can you blame me? I certainly don't. He said he loved me. He said that I was everything that he ever could have dreamed of wanting. He said he would never hurt me.

And I believe him. That's the worst part. What the heck was I thinking? I became this ridiculously love obsessed girl and did anything because I believed him. And I regret it. I do. I know I shouldn't, because someone once told me "never regret your past because at one point what you did was what you wanted," but right now I look back and think "was it really worth it?" And I have a hard time answering that. It seemed worth it at the time, but now, I don't know. It just hurts. Too much.

I hope that when I move to Abilene I'll meet a guy who won't hurt me like I've been hurt. I want a guy to tell me the truth, and who won't fall out of love with me. I want a guy who wants me for me and never thinks for a minute that he could be with someone else. I want a guy who doesn't even think about being on a "break." I want a guy who will love me for the rest of my life and will treat me the way I deserve to be treated. I want a guy who won't break my heart when someone new comes along, because it would kill him to see me cry and because he could never look at anyone else in the same way he sees me.

I want to move and I want my life to just start over. I don't want to forget the friends I've made (because that would make me super sad), but I want to forget the things I've done and the things that have hurt me. I want to move and not be seen as anything special or that, excuse my language, bitchy first soprano.

Three weeks.

jellybean1757 @ 2006-07-29T00:38:00

2006-07-29T06:39:12Z

He should go away. Forever.

Maybe I should be the one to get hit by a bus...put out my own misery...

Leaving

2006-07-18T03:52:00Z

I'm off tomorrow morning for Baptist All State. I'm really not looking forward to it...I dunno know why. I'm just kinda ehh about the whole thing. Oh well, right?

I'll be gone for 12 days, so call me, text me, leave me comments on myspace and stuff like that...

Adios.

For Corey...

2006-07-14T19:52:36Z

Since Corey can't put pictures of Cambria up on her LJ and since I'm such an awesome person, I'm doing it for her...enjoy the beauty of life...

She's too cute...